Mis Viejos

I no longer am a permanent resident of Keene, Texas.

Things change so much in the time I'm away, and every single trip back "home" reveals something different. Keene has grown: a couple of rather awkward stop lights have been added and the population sign gained more numbers since the last census. My church is no longer filled with familiar faces, and walking into Subway does not mean I'll walk out with something free or discounted, courtesy of the many friends who worked there.

But these changes are easy to take. It's when I step into my house that I see how much things really do take outlandish turns, for better or worse. My freshman year, my little sister was still little, my brother's facial hair wasn't too thick, my mom was a bit plump, and my dad did not need glasses.

This time I came back it hit me hard. My little sister is old, in the middle of her teenage years and having a blast, my mom has gotten frailer--every time I hug her I feel I can't hug her as hard as before. My brother grows a full beard and is an adult--and isn't afraid to say/show/act like one. My dad's hair has gotten thinner, and he wears his reading glasses frequently.

At dinner times, I tell them my not-so-exciting stories and then everyone goes and does their own thing. My mom reads, my dad reads and goes visiting people. My sister plugs in her earphones and does...things, in the safety of her room. My brother takes off and might not come back that night.

Everyone is so old.

I might even venture and say that "home" is not what I left behind in August of 2010: a full two years have almost gone by.
I think it's safe that my heart is lost in that once safe haven of growing up and has been replaced by a house with three apartments rather than three rooms with doors open.
I think about it and...it's nostalgic, but not sad.

My home evaporated in front of my eyes this spring break. I guess it was life's "coming of age" side telling me that it's time to find where home really is.

Where exactly that is, I have no idea. At least not yet. But I'm really excited to find it.